Feelin weird... again

Ya Allah, Ya Allah, Ya Allah, I'm happy but at the same time I'm nervous, scared, and feelin kinda fragile, maybe its partly becuz I can't be with You fully right now. I miss You. Ya Allah, I need someone, a life partner, someone I can share all my thoughts with, my inner most secrets, and he can tell me anything too. I wanna play my guitar for him, I wanna make him the happiest person on earth, I want to live as one and bring him to Jannah with me. I don't care if there's so many hot guys in Jannah, I just want him, my one sole partner, the one that's meant to be with me for eternity.

O The Almighty, I'll never give up, I'll never let these tears smudge my words, cuz I know... somewhere out there, there's a guy whose meant for me. Please guide me... and him... wherever we are. ameen.

Uncle Allen said we have to change ourselves in order to attract the person that we want to be with in the future, make sure our criteria fits each other, that's what prof Muhaya said so too. I remember she said... write down all the things, criteria that we want in our future husband and see if our characters match it, if it doesn't, start changing yourself towards it. I think it really makes sense. Ok let's see what are the things I'm lookin for in my man haha :D

These are the criteria that I want in my future husband insyaAllah :)

1. Responsible
2. Pious yet cool
3. Cares about my feelings
4. Gentle
5. Kind
6. Generous
7. Sweet
8. Charming
9. Honest
10. A good father to my children
11. Loves me for who I am as a whole not my beauty
12. Adventurous
13. broad chest ( ewewewew i didn't just said that ew urgh nvm just let it out huh)
14. Open minded - likes to try new stuff and take risks
15. Always be there for me when I need him the most (aww so sweet hehe) - where on earth am I gonna find someone like this lol, nvm kunfayakun, nothing's impossible for Allah :)
16. Expert in silat ( I'm hoping he can teach me too hehe)
17. at least 5cm taller
18. at least 5 years older

So based on these criteria.. I have to start being...

1. Responsible for all my actions
2. Pious yet cool (demure haha)
3. care about all his feelings (try to understand his emotions... ehmm okay.. i can do that lol)
4. be gentle w him
5. always be kind to him and others
6. Generous no matter how rich I am
7. Sweet and very understanding
8. charming (keep my dignity as his wife)
9. honest- always tell the truth cuz its always the best
10. be a good mother that will bring my whole family to Jannah insyaAllah
11. Love him for who he is not his beauty, his traits and personality (will he bring you to Jannah with him?)
12. Adventurous- live life to the fullest
13. slim and curvy figure
14. open minded ( don't be judgemental)
15. always be there for him, be his life companion no matter where he is.
16. Expert in silat( hmm haha maybe I can silat with him just the two of us)
17. at least 5cm shorter than him
18. at least 5 years younger than him

okay guess that's it. Now.. time to start my journey.. yay.. let's see where it takes me hehe 

toodles :D